提要
好心情對健康的積極作用，是任何藥物都無法代替的。人人都願意處於歡樂和幸福之中。然而生活錯綜複雜、千變萬化，難免發生不愉快的事。想要有好心情，保持幽默樂觀的態度，是絕佳方式。
1
Matt: " Hey Dr. Park, this is Matt from the Vascular Lab. I have an outpatient here with an external iliac occlusion with cold foot pin and numbness that started 3 days ago. What should I do with her?"
Hannah: " Hi, this is Hannah. I think you have the wrong number, but I Googled it and I'm pretty sure you need to put a stent in her left radial artery. Best of luck, Matt!"
hours later.....
Matt: "Sorry for the wrong number, Hannah. The patient ended up actually getting a stent. Took about 3 hours longer for trained medical professionals to figure out what took you 3 minutes."
Hannah: " Are you recruiting? Ha ha ha!"
2
Why did the computer show up at work late?
A: It had a
hard drive.
3
A fat man at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that were too tight.
"Was there any damage caused?" the clerk asked.
"Yes," the fat man said. "This hurts my
feelings."
4
At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having
a tough time choosing between one paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with the first one.
"I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral," The clerk said.
"No," said the boy. “That painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in
our wall.”
5
A woman called the airline
customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.
"Sure," the airline replied, "as long as you provide your own kennel." and further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was flummoxed:
"I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!"
6
One night a woman was putting her 3-year-old daughters to bed, she saw a bright full moon in the sky. So she let her look at the moon for a moment and then asked, "Who made the moon?"
"God," came her reply.
"And the stars?" the woman asked. Again the answer was, "God."
She continued with a few more questions: Who made the trees, the flowers, etc. Finally, she asked, "Who made Daddy?"
The little girl, not fooled, and said, "Grandma."
7
"Has your son decided what
he wants to be when he grows up?"
I asked my friend.
"He wants to be a garbageman,"
he replied.
"That’s an unusual ambition to have at such a young age."
"Not really. He thinks that garbageman work only on Tuesdays."
8
In a drug store, a scientist asks the pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid."
"Do you mean Aspirin?" asks the pharmacist.
The scientist slaps his forehead. "That’s it!" The Self-blame scientist says. "I can never
remember this name."
解說
1
麥特：「嗨，派克博士，我是血管實驗室的麥特。在這裡有一個門診患者，外部髂動脈閉塞，三天前開始出現腳冷和麻木感。我應該怎麼辦？」
漢娜：「嗨，這裡是漢娜。我想你撥錯電話號碼了，但是我上網搜索了一下，我確定你應在左橈動脈上放一個支架。祝你好運，麥特！」
幾個小時以後……
麥特：「對不起，漢娜，我撥錯電話號碼。結果那位病患真的在動脈裝了支架。訓練有素的醫療專業人員花了大約三個小時才弄清楚情況，妳卻只花了三分鐘。」
漢娜：「你這是在招募嗎？哈 哈 哈！」
2
問：何以電腦今天上班遲到？
（show up at work late應該是（電腦）「顯示『工作遲滯』；也可擬人化說成『上班遲到』。」）
答：他今天開車不順利。
（電腦配備的硬碟英文是「hard drive」；開車「drive」困難「hard」重重，難怪會上班遲到。）
3
一個胖子走到顧客服務台，退回一條牛仔褲表示「太緊」。
「有沒有任何損傷呢？」店員問。
「有！」胖子說，「我的心靈受傷了。」
4
在一個藝廊裡，一位女士和她十歲的兒子，在一幅畫和另一位畫家的作品之間難以取捨。終於，他們決定選第一幅畫。
「我想，你們喜歡秋天的景致比花卉要多一些。」店員說。
「不！」男孩說，「這幅畫比較寬，所以它可以遮住我們牆上的三個洞。」
5
一位女士打電話給航空公司的顧客服務台，詢問是否可以把她的狗帶上飛機。
「當然。」航空公司回答：「只要妳自備狗籠。」並進一步解釋：「狗籠需要有足夠的空間，能讓狗站起來、坐下、轉身、翻滾。」
那顧客困惑地說：「明天之前，我絕對不可能教會牠這麼多動作！」
6
一天晚上，一位女士正哄著三歲的女兒上床睡覺，女兒看到皎潔明亮的滿月。於是，她讓她看著月亮一陣子之後問：「月亮是誰創造的？」
「是神。」她回答。
「星星？」那位女士再問，答案又是「神」。
女士繼續提出好幾個問題：「誰創造了樹、花等等。」最後，她問：「誰創造了爸爸？」
小女孩（沒上當）回答：「奶奶。」
7
「你的兒子決定長大以後想做什麼了嗎？」我問朋友。
「他想成為垃圾工人。」他回答。
「在這樣年輕的時候，野心竟然如此不同尋常。」
「不是啦，他以為垃圾工人只有在周二才工作。」
8
在一家藥店，一位科學家問藥劑師：「給我一些乙酰水楊酸片。」
「你是指阿司匹靈嗎？」藥劑師問。
科學家拍拍自己的前額：「就是它！」他自責地說。「我永遠記不住這個名字。」