提 要

父母的一生都在關心幫助子女，而子女的一切，從胎兒到出生，到讀書工作，成家立業，沒有一樣離開父母的關懷。父母是「Giver」而子女是「Taker」，「Giver or Taker」的角色在子女長成之後應該互換，才是最基本的孝順。

Nick is a middle aged man. Although he was born in a poor family, he was raised well by his father and mother. His father owned a welding shop, and used to work for more than 12 hours a day, so that his family could lead a comfortable living.

However, Nick's father could not earn sufficient money to provide a decent life to his family. Nick was an average student in school, and used to score around 70 percent marks. Nick's dream was to become a Doctor. Since his marks weren't very high, he could not get the desired course that he wanted to study. Instead, he joined a bachelor's degree course, completed the course successfully, and got a job in a company.

While his life was going on with no dramatic change, his father continued to work in his welding shop, so that he did not have to depend on Nick. After getting a permanent job, Nick's parents wanted him to have his own family. He got married to a girl from his native town, and at the same time was also promoted in his job. After a few years, his wife gave birth to beautiful twin boys.

Later Nick began to earn a handsome salary, and started to live luxuriously. He bought a new house and a new car. Some of the luxuries were really unnecessary. Although, his company provided him with a car, Nick went and purchased a new car!

After a luxurious lifestyle that spanned for almost 6 to 7 years, Nick was not able to manage all the household expenses, nor was he able to pay for the children's education and other basic necessities.

His father fell sick, and as a result, could not continue his work in the welding shop. He requested Nick to give some money for his treatment and other household expenses.

Nick, who was already suffering from financial crisis, shouted at his parents and told them that he had no money to provide.

Nick complained to his parents, "You never send me to a big school. I was not provided with expensive clothes. You rarely fed me with my favorite food; nor was I able to taste different varieties of food. When I got low marks you didn't have enough money to provide me with private tuition, and it took me more than 10 years to get settled. Now, while I am again struggling for money, you did not do anything to help me, but instead are a burden to me! So, please don't come to me again."

His parents were left shattered.

After a week, while Nick was on an official tour, he met a small boy aged about 10 years selling toys. The boy requested Nick to buy something. Nick asked the boy why he was selling toys instead of studying. The boy replied, "My father met with an accident a year ago and he lost one hand. He cannot work now. My mother works as a maid in a few houses. I'm helping my parents by selling these toys. I go to school in the morning, and sell toys in the evenings. I work for 3 hours a day and study at night!"

Nick purchased a few toys from the little boy, and left a wiser person, as he had learned a lesson from the small boy:

At a very small age, this boy was helping his parents, but Nick himself, in order to meet his lavish lifestyle, had neglected his parents.

解說

尼克是一個中年男子。雖然他的家庭貧窮，但父母將他照顧得很好。尼克的父親經營焊接店，每天工作超過十二小時，只為了他的家人能過舒適的生活。

然而對尼克來說，父親賺的錢不夠他家「過體面的生活」。在學校分數大多拿B，成績不算高的尼克，想成為一名醫師的夢不可能實現，於是他選修大學基本學科、完成課程後，順利在一家公司找到工作。

尼克的生活平順、沒任何戲劇性的變化，父親繼續在焊接店工作，不必依靠尼克。覺得工作穩定後，尼克的父母希望他成立自己的家庭。他娶了家鄉小鎮的姑娘，幾年後，妻子為他生下了漂亮的雙胞胎男孩。

後來尼克的薪水日漸增加，也因此開始過著奢侈的生活。他買了新房子、新車……其實不必要的奢侈品。雖然，他的公司提供他汽車，但尼克還是自己另外買車。

過了將近六、七年的奢華的生活後，尼克開始應付不了旁大的開支，甚至孩子的學費和其他的基本必需品也不能快沒錢付了。

他的父親病倒了，也因此無法繼續工作。他要求尼克給一些錢，支付醫療費及其他家庭開支。

深陷金融危機的尼克，覺得自身難保，對著他的父母大叫，他沒有錢支付。

尼克跟父母抱怨：「你們不曾把我送到大學校、沒過買好衣服、很少給我喜歡的食物，也沒讓我能品嘗各種美味。」「當我考得不好，你們沒有足夠的錢讓我補習，我花了十多年才解決。現在，當我再次為了錢掙扎，你沒有做任何事情來幫助我，反而成為負擔！所以，請不要再來找我。」

他的父母聽到這種話，錯愕地楞著、深受打擊。

一周後，尼克到外地出差時，遇到了一個賣玩具的十歲小男孩，男孩求尼克買點東西。尼克問男孩，為什麼他在賣玩具而不去學校學習，男孩回答說：「我的父親一年前遇到車禍，失去了一隻手，現在不能正常工作；我的母親為幾戶人家當女傭。我早上去學校，晚上靠賣這些玩具貼補家用，然後再溫習功課！」

尼克向小男孩買了一些玩具，離開時，已經是智慧增長了一些的人，因為他從男孩那裡學到教訓：

這個男孩小小年紀，就已經懂得幫助父母；但從小生活無虞的尼克，為了滿足自己奢侈的生活方式，竟置辛苦養大他的父母於不顧。

WOW!

原來如此

Giver or Taker

Psychologist Adam Grant divides the working world into three groups of people: Givers, Takers, and Matchers. Givers seek out ways to be helpful and give to others. Matchers play "tit for tat"—they reciprocate and expect reciprocity. Takers focus on getting as much as possible from others.

心理學家亞當．格蘭特區分人類的個性為三種：施予者、取用者、回報者（Givers, Takers, and Matchers）。

施予者想盡辦法讓別人受益；回報者「投桃報李」，期待互惠但絕不吃虧；取用者則盡可能從別人身上，得到對自己有利的東西。

shattered

「shattered」表示「驚愕難過、遭受重擊」或「破碎撕裂」，例如：

Howard was shattered by the news of his father's death.

（聽到父親去世的消息，霍華德無比驚愕難過。）

It is no use being shattered by failure.

（遭遇挫敗就一蹶不振，於事無補。）

At dawn the dark sky was shattered by a blue-white scar.

（黎明時，穹蒼黑幕綻裂開成一道藍白色。）

left a wiser person

「left」是離開。「left a wiser person」（離開的時候，變得比較聰明了……），也就是（尼克）在此之前，還是個不知感恩的笨蛋。

著名聖詩〈奇異恩典〉（Amazing Grace）的填詞者、英國詩人及牧師約翰．牛頓，曾經說過類似的「昨非今是」的自我期許：

「I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.」（我並非應有的樣子，我沒有自己想要的表現，我不是自己希望在另一個世界的樣子；但藉由神的恩典，我是現在的我了。）