Robert Benchley（1889-1945）他是美國幽默作家，戲劇評論家和演員。

我熱愛觀察，因而對自己的臉也很著迷，甚至近乎病態。我的臉變化多端，要等到我偷偷瞧鏡子，才知道我今天的面貌像誰：有時像卡通大力水手裡愛吃漢堡的Wimpy，如果我沒刮鬍子的話看起來就像漫畫裡的老頭。我曾經一起床立刻照鏡子，卻發現鏡中的人我不熟悉，我馬上轉過身察看是那個陌生人和我共度一夜，故意隔著我的肩膀偷窺我。當我赫然發現鏡中人就是我時，我嚇壞了趕緊逃回床上。

If I look in the mirror soon enough after getting out of bed, there is no resemblance to any character at all, either in or out of fiction, and I turn quickly to look behind me, convinced that a stranger has spent the night with me and is peering over my shoulder in a sinister fashion, merely to frighten me. On such occasions, the shock of finding that I am actually possessor of the face in the mirror is sufficient to send me scurrying back to bed, completely unnerved.

走過商店，我也擋不住偷窺櫥窗鏡子的誘惑。如果我剛好戴頂新帽子或無精打采走過商店，卻沒有對鏡中的影像點頭致意時，我會心頭一驚，想：「鏡子裡應該有反映出你的影像，但願你不是沒有軀體的靈魂！」我就折返商店再看櫥窗裏的鏡子，沒錯，鏡中的影像確是我本人，方才我卻認為是陌生人呢！

If I happen to have on a new hat, or am walking with a limp, I sometimes pass right by my reflection without even nodding. Then I begin to think: "You must have given off some visual impression into that mirror. You're not a disembodied spirit yet - I hope." And I go back and look again, and, sure enough, the strange-looking man I thought was walking just ahead of me in the reflection turns out to have been my own image all the time.

看照片時我也幾乎像在虐待自己。同學從照相館取回一大袋照片，我等不及要看卻假裝沒有興趣，但我貪婪的眼神卻洩了底。照片中沒有我就沒有看頭，我卻仍舊裝著津津有味。終於有我了，我瞧過後若無其事地把照片傳給下一個人，眼睛卻依然停留在照片中我站的那個位置。其他人都離開後，我偷偷地再看一次，把他人眼中看來有點可怕的「我」好好看個夠。

Try as I will to pass it by casually, my eyes rivet themselves on that corner of the group in which I am standing. And then, when the others have left the room, I surreptitiously go through the envelope again, just to gaze my fill on the slightly macabre sight of Myself as others see me.

鏡中人也好照片也好，我總不時地被自己這張臉嚇著，可是我卻不減偷窺自己之樂。我將仍天天為這張臉的變化而神魂顛倒，同時對大自然竟能賦與這張臉眾多滑稽的面貌而深感佩服。我會苦中作樂，緊抿上唇克服這一切。其實我的上嘴唇還蠻好看的，只是有點怪罷了。

I shall watch the daily modulations with an impersonal fascination not unmixed with awe at Mother Nature's gift for caricature, and will take the bitter with the sweet and keep a stiff upper lip. As a matter of fact, my upper lip is pretty fascinating by itself, in a bizarre sort of way.